Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Five Stages to Acceptance - #3 Mindfulness Series

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Five Stages to Acceptance - #3 Mindfulness Series

November 9, 2020

Henry T. Hill


From June of 2018 to today I have faced Amyloidosis, chemo and peripheral neuropathy. In my Amazon book, "Mindfulness vs Disease and Debilitating Symptoms Such As Pain, Fatigue and Loss of Coordination" and in my Mindfulness Series essays posted on Latitude Attitude at https://latitudeattitude.blogspot.com/and on Marketplace Mission Learning Center at http://marketplacemission.squarespace.com/, I present my journey.

To achieve the healthiest me, daily, I use the following mindfulness techniques:


Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Five Stages to Acceptance

Pragmatism

Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy

Transactional Analysis

Making Sense with General Semantics

Somatosensory Part of the Brain and the Role of Behavior Chemicals, Emotions and Physical Activity

Placebo Effect Concept

Bloom’s Taxonomy

Marshall McLuhan and The Medium Is the Massage

Words and Questions and Grammar and Chaos

Learning Theories

Poems and an Essay and Quotes

Feelings and Reactions


Every day I use Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ Five Stages in my mindfulness journey. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance - think DAB - DA. Many people lock into denial or anger or bargaining, investing psychic energy, in essence, to pretend that denial or anger or bargaining will improve their situation. Many people sink into depression seeing no way out. Well, depression surrounds us with its “always” presence. But Acceptance, real Acceptance, dispels depression and helps hold depression away.


Using Denial in the face of accurate diagnosis simply will not work against a disease. Denial, pretending that something is not real does not marshall the mind-body to fight the disease. Anger works for some situations and may even save your life. Anger against a disease only stresses the mind-body and may make the symptoms worse. Bargaining with others and with ourselves becomes at an early age a way of life. Bargaining with a disease does not work and only postpones taking real mind-body action. Depression does not present an end, a place to stay. Depression is a part of the path one must take to move to acceptance. Depression will not disappear. Depression presents a shadow waiting to drive the sunshine away. Acceptance pushes the shadow away, but acceptance must be renewed every day and every night.


Depression, recognized by the World Health Organization (WHO) as the leading cause of disability and the fourth leading contributor to the global burden of disease, often shares a comorbid relation with anxiety, a distinct emotion. Patients must address the threats from depression and from anxiety. Chronic disease and chronic conditions such as amyloidosis and peripheral neuropathy contribute to depression and anxiety because of the loss of sense of self, lack of energy, reluctance to engage with friends because uneventful days leave nothing to talk about, sadness, anxiety and uncertainty about the future, loss of relationships, social isolation, feelings of guilt because of the need for others to become your caregiver and fear of death. Positive thinking, medications and exercise can help address anxiety and depression. Move to acceptance, leave anxiety and depression there because they will always stay there ready to move back in and will move back in again where a patient must embrace acceptance again and again.


To fight depression call on your life badges you earned through real experience. I had a great advantage growing up from 1943-1961 when I faced my medical challenges starting in 2018. In the 1940’s and 1950’s we got sick with mumps, measles, chicken pox, whooping cough and sore throats. Because both my parents smoked, I got sick more often every fall and winter when we had to keep the windows closed. But my real advantage in facing amyloidosis and PN consisted of me getting scarlet fever in the summer of 1948, being quarantined and almost dying. After that experience any thoughts of my dying held a different meaning for me then for most people. I had learned real Acceptance of mortality.


Remember Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer:”

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And Wisdom to know the difference.


On June 18, 2018 when I first heard the words, Amyloidosis AL, I did a Goggle search and learned about the in curable and serious nature of Amyloidosis, I said to myself using my internal dialogue, “OK, I am 74 soon to be 75 years old and have enjoyed good health my whole life, so now the health challenge begins. The adventure of my life has opened a new path.” No denial, no anger, no bargaining, no “why mes” and at that point, no depression, just acceptance of the new journey, but I knew that depression would enter my world. My study of Kubler-Ross and my application of her stages throughout my life helped me jump through denial, anger and bargaining and helped me to realize that depression would always hang over this new journey, but I knew that acceptance, cold, objective, rational, scientific acceptance, everyday acceptance, would help hold depression away and give me the best chance to face this new challenge. Lesson: stop any denial, anger and bargaining thoughts right away and accept that depression will always be there. Use acceptance to push away depression and use acceptance thoughts to immediately face a new reality. Do not indulge yourself in self pity. Do not say, “Why me?” Instead say, “Why not me.” Do not let denial, anger and bargaining enter your daily world, and hold depression back with acceptance. Use the continuum of Sane ----- Unsane ----- Insane, found in “Making Sense with General Semantics,” which I will explain in a later essay, to monitor your thoughts. Is this thought observable, measurable, rational, scientific verifiable, dated and timed and indexed, with the underlying et cetera (etc.) meaning that there is always more to any immediate situation/episode/event as this thought can be? If my thought does not meet that criteria, than that thought falls in the Unsane or even Insane category. Unsane thoughts may contain words like: “always,” “never,” “can’t stand it,” “no answers,” “no cause,” “no solution,” “no cure,” “no relief,” etc. For example, when someone says that they can’t stand it, that statement is false to the facts because they are standing it by simply being here and saying that thought. For example if your hand and then your arm were caught in a machine that was grinding flesh and bone, you would be standing it until you either passed out or died. So when someone says that they can’t stand it, they are making an Unsane statement. What they are saying as a Sane thought is that they do not think that they can stand it very much longer without passing out or dying. Now take that Sane thought and turn it into a “badge” that you have earned by standing it. Unsane thoughts, “fictions”, take valuable and limited psychic energy to maintain and as with most mental disorders require a person to spread their Unsane thoughts to others. Maintaining Unsane thoughts is like bailing a leaking boat without trying to plug the holes. The leaking boat will eventually swamp and sink because you can’t bail fast enough. Stop Unsane and Insane thoughts right away. Plug the holes in your leaking boat. Substitute Sane thoughts which require very little psychic energy to maintain. Remember the lesson about lying: liars need to have good memories to remember their lies. Truth tellers just tell the truth. Unsane thoughts and insane thoughts are lies we tell ourselves and others. Monitor every thought using the Sane---Unsane---Insane continuum and use mindfulness techniques to change Unsane and Insane thoughts into Sane thoughts. Remember the four categories of thoughts: positive, negative, neutral and waste.


Use mindfulness. This process may seem difficult, but when you change one Unsane thought into a Sane thought and practice that Sane thought, you will not go back to that old Unsane thought. New Unsane thoughts will appear so filter them and change them into Sane thoughts. Just keep doing this using mindfulness tools. These tools and others help you keep yourself in the Acceptance frame of mind and help you keep Depression away.


For more see "Mindfulness vs Disease and Debilitating Symptoms Such As Pain, Fatigue and Loss of Coordination" by Henry T. Hill on Amazon (September 23, 2020 and 153 pages and 3359 KB). Henrythill@gmail.com


Works Cited

“5 Stages of Grief®.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation, www.ekrfoundation.org/5-stages-of-grief/5-stages-grief/.

Bolognesi, Marianna. “How Language Shapes Your Thoughts - What Researchers Know.” ResearchGate, The Conversation, 26 July 2018.

“Depression.” World Health Organization, World Health Organization, 30 Jan. 2020, www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression.

Lorentz, Madeline M. “Stress and Psychoneuroimmunology Revisited: Using Mind-Body Interventions to Reduce Stress.” Https://Www.mm3admin.Co.za/Documents/Docmanager/6e64f7e1-715e-4fd6-8315-424683839664/00025132.Pdf, Alternative Journal of Nursing, July 2006.

Murray, Greg, et al. “The Mind-Body Relationship in Psychotherapy: Grounded Cognition as an Explanatory Framework.” Frontiers, Frontiers in Psychology, 1 May 2014, www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00472/full.

Satsangi, Shipra, et al. Thought Consciousness : A Panacea For All Ills And Evils Of Mind. Dayalbagh Educational Institute, www.consciousness.arizona.edu/documents/TSC2018AbstractBookfinal3.pdf.

Internal Dialogue - #2 Mindfulness Series

Internal Dialogue - #2 Mindfulness Series

10/7/2020 

Henry T. Hill

10/3/2020 I posted on Facebook my amyloidosis al and peripheral neuropathy journey with some reference to how I applied mindfulness to my journey. To apply mindfulness you must become aware of your internal dialogue and record key thoughts in your daily journal and address daily your internal dialogue to change it from an unhealthy and unproductive dialogue to a healthy and productive dialogue. Mindfulness tools offers ways to become aware, to record and to address your internal dialogue. This task presents a challenge because you have spent your lifetime up to now learning patterns that repeat in your internal dialogue. You can’t unlearn these patterns, but you can learn a new pattern and substitute the new pattern when ever the old pattern shows up.

Today, 10/7/2020, I post how to develop and use your internal dialogue to begin your mindfulness journey. My next post will explain how I used Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Five Stages to Acceptance. I will continue to post the following topics:

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Five Stages to Acceptance
Pragmatism
Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
Transactional Analysis
Making Sense with General Semantics
Somatosensory Part of the Brain and the Role of Behavior Chemicals, Emotions and Physical Activity
Placebo Effect Concept
Bloom’s Taxonomy
Marshall McLuhan and The Medium Is the Massage
Words and Questions and Grammar and Chaos
Learning Theories
Poems and an Essay and Quotes
Feelings and Reactions

Internal Dialogue - Goal: To identify and remove “Self-suggested stressors” and to replace them with a healthy and productive internal dialogue

Internal dialogue, internal monologue, self-talk, inner speech, inner discourse or internal discourse all refer to an inner voice tied to sense of self, self-reflection, self-image, critical thinking, emotions and subvocalization. Human awareness often sees this internal dialogue as the “mind.” Negative self-talk contributes to depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. Cognitive therapy aims to improve functioning by helping people identify and change negative self-talk by checking reality, looking at alternatives, seeking other perspectives and setting realistic goals. The Voices Within by Charles Fernyhough published in 2016 offers an exploration of the “inner voice” and its role in thinking by helping regulate behavior, motivate positive behavior and help one become more conscious of their internal dialogue. Fernyhough stated that one quarter of the people studied engaged in inner speech which leaves many people who do not actively engage in inner speech. Fernyhough also described four different categories of inner speech: faithful friend, ambivalent parent, proud rival and calm optimist.

A Google of “Critical Inner Voice” (CIV) produces over 56,000 results.

The field of psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) takes an interdisciplinary approach incorporating: psychology, neuroscience, immunology, physiology, genetics, pharmacology, molecular biology, psychiatry, behavioral medicine, infectious diseases, endocrinology and rheumatology to study the interactions between the nervous and immune systems and between mental processes including internal dialogue and health. “Stress and Psychoneuroimmunology Revisited: Using mind-body interventions to reduce stress” describes the normal state of the human body, termed homeostasis, as that state that maintains balance and health. Disruptive factors that cause stress, any external or internal demand placed on the body, affect the immune system including the neuroendocrine system and may disrupt the body’s ability to maintain homeostasis. Mindfulness tools using internal dialogue offer ways to move toward and to maintain homeostasis.

Examine thoughts with a critical eye to identify, to evaluate and to change unhealthy, unproductive thoughts into healthy and productive thoughts. Mindfulness offers tools to address these unhealthy and unproductive thoughts and to make changes to ensure the healthiest mind outcomes possible in any situation so as to restore and to maintain homeostasis.

Tips to develop and to expand an internal dialogue:

First, accept that thought exists as one of the important causes of actions which, when repeated, these thoughts become habits, and these habits become the basis of personality. Second, accept that the brain maintains a level of activity 24/7, day and night, year after year. Third, thoughts may take many forms such as feelings, dreams, images, sounds, smells, ‘flashbulb’ memories in the brain, but when they take shape as words, mindfulness techniques can work to shape those thoughts. Mindfulness can also address feelings, images and even memories.

According to “What are thoughts made of?” From the MIT School of Engineering, the human brain is composed of about 100 billion nerve cells (neurons) interconnected by trillions of connections (synapses) with some connections sending up to 1,000 signals per second all of which somehow produce thought.

Here is what MIT researchers think happens when you read the following words.

The photons associated with the patterns of the letters hit your retina, and their energy triggers an electrical signal in the light-detecting cells there. That electrical signal propagates like a wave along the long threads called axons that are part of the connections between neurons. When the signal reaches the end of an axon, it causes the release of chemical neurotransmitters into the synapse, a chemical junction between the axon tip and target neurons. A target neuron responds with its own electrical signal, which, in turn, spreads to other neurons. Within a few hundred milliseconds, the signal has spread to billions of neurons in several dozen interconnected areas of your brain, and you have perceived these words.

So asking how do thoughts form in the brain means asking for an explanation of how trillions of connections and billions of simultaneous transmissions come together in a brain to form a thought. Researchers believe that the brain links thoughts together in ways: that may promote and sustain homeostasis, that may have little or no effect on homeostasis, or that may disrupt homeostasis and therefore affect health and happiness.

Unsupervised Learning

Hebb’s Theory - “neurons that fire together wire together” ties together psychology and neuroscience. Donald Hebb in his 1949 book, The Organization of Behavior, foreshadowed what researchers now call “spike-timing-dependent plasticity” which helps explain associative learning where simultaneous activation of cells leads to synaptic strength between those cells which becomes the basis of unsupervised learning. Hebb’s Theory helps explain how Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Therapy argues that events do not trigger reactions. Events trigger learned belief systems and these learned belief systems trigger reactions. Unsupervised learning can result in learned belief systems which disrupt homeostasis. Mindfulness tools applied to internal dialogue offer ways to replace (unsupervised) learned belief systems with healthy, productive and positive (supervised learned) belief systems which can lead to a healthy and positive life.

The article, “How language shapes thoughts - what researchers know,” suggests words work as glue by allowing different experiences to form under one label. Often the label or umbrella denotes something we cannot see or touch. Compare the thought of “banana” with the thought of “freedom” by Googling each term and clicking on images. Clinical studies suggest that the brain stores/processes concrete concepts such as “banana” in a different area from abstract concepts such as “freedom.” Researchers estimate that 70% of the words used everyday designate abstract concepts, but most research on how the brain processes language base the research on words denoting concrete concepts only. This leaves abstract concepts, 70%, open to study.

Mindfulness can maintain positive thoughts which will manifest in positive behavior which will manifest into a healthy and positive homeostasis. Becoming conscious of thoughts, of their type and quality, allows one to stop certain thoughts, to divert thoughts, to modify thoughts, and to replace thoughts with positive, creative and powerful thoughts. To stop certain thoughts requires moment-to-moment discipline 24/7. Accepting this mindfulness premise means feelings of hurt, fear, hatred, denial, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, irritability, loss of appetite, loss of energy, loss of interest in daily activities, loss of pleasure, low self-esteem, restlessness, sadness, insecurity, jealousy, revenge, anger, unhappiness and depression come from thoughts that have become part of belief systems. Through mindfulness training you may learn to modify your belief system and therefore modify your feelings and behavior and even modify how your body reacts to the challenges of your disease.

Start by identify four types of thoughts: positive thoughts, negative thoughts, neutral thoughts and waste thoughts and try to eliminate negative and waste thoughts. Use mindfulness by setting alarms to monitor thoughts throughout the day. Get up early in the morning and observe your mind. Repeat the same exercise throughout the day and before going to sleep. Identify the thoughts, place them in the four categories and respond using mindfulness practices. Through conscious mindfulness one can change belief systems. See “Thought Consciousness: A Panacea For All Ills and Evils of Mind.”

Here is another idea to open yourself to productive and healthy mindfulness: hedonia vs eudaimonia and the six components of Ryff's six factor model for psychological well-being. Of the 70% of abstract concepts “happiness” presents great challenges. Psychologists present happiness as hedonic happiness - pleasure and enjoyment eudaimonic happiness - meaning and purpose. Both concepts come from the ancient Greek world and have supporters in our modern world. Most researchers believe that people require both to flourish.

If you have not experienced regular inner conversation, this new experience will open up whole new worlds. Apply mindfulness every day to reduce stress, to open yourself to the wonders and joys of the world around you and to the wonders and joy of the world inside you.

Now start journaling every day. I use Google Docs (free with a Google Gmail). I can view my journal from any device connected to the internet. I cut scrap paper into quarters and clip them together using a paper binder clip and take daily notes on the quarter sheets of paper which I then transfer to Google Docs the next morning. I started my journal when I received my diagnosis of amyloidosis on June 18, 2018. My journal now number 87 pages with over 50,000 words. Each day start with “Wednesday, 10/7/2020” and include the following: appointments, tests, drugs,reactions, doctors, nurses, foods, sleep/nap times, exercise, behaviors, chemicals, emotions, physical activity, and anything that helps to improve your quality of life and anything that decreases your quality of life. Put a bold heading above a day when you start or stop a drug or a treatment or anything that stands out as a change. I have added topics at the end of my daily journal such as: prayer list, special people, trivia, Bread baking, books, movies and TV shows watched, my prescription journey summary, new drugs that I may have to take, What I have learned rules, my personal prayers, etc.

For more see "Mindfulness vs Disease and Debilitating Symptoms Such As Pain, Fatigue and Loss of Coordination" by Henry T Hill on Amazon (September 23, 2020 and 153 pages and 3359 KB)

Works Cited

Bolognesi, Marianna. “How Language Shapes Your Thoughts - What Researchers Know.” ResearchGate, The Conversation, 26 July 2018.

de Sousa, Paulo, et al. “Inner Speech and Clarity of Self-Concept in Thought Disorder and Auditory-Verbal Hallucinations.” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Dec. 2016, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5142361/.

Dougherty, Elizabeth. “What Are Thoughts Made of?” Ask An Engineer, MIT School of Engineering, 26 Apr. 2011, engineering.mit.edu/engage/ask-an-engineer/what-are-thoughts-made-of/.

Fernyhough, Charles. The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves. Profile Books, 2017.

“Hebbian Theory.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 15 Apr. 2020, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory.

Lorentz, Madeline M. “Stress and Psychoneuroimmunology Revisited: Using Mind-Body Interventions to Reduce Stress.” Https://Www.mm3admin.Co.za/Documents/Docmanager/6e64f7e1-715e-4fd6-8315-424683839664/00025132.Pdf, Alternative Journal of Nursing, July 2006.

Murray, Greg, et al. “The Mind-Body Relationship in Psychotherapy: Grounded Cognition as an Explanatory Framework.” Frontiers, Frontiers in Psychology, 1 May 2014, www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00472/full.

Nathan, Howard J, et al. “Randomized Trial of the Effect of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction on Pain-Related Disability, Pain Intensity, Health-Related Quality of Life, and A1C in Patients With Painful Diabetic Peripheral Neuropathy.” Clinical Diabetes : a Publication of the American Diabetes Association, American Diabetes Association, Dec. 2017, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5734176/.

Satsangi, Shipra, et al. Thought Consciousness : A Panacea For All Ills And Evils Of Mind. Dayalbagh Educational Institute, www.consciousness.arizona.edu/documents/TSC2018AbstractBookfinal3.pdf.

Six-factor Model of Psychological Well-being. (2020, April 14). Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six-factor_Model_of_Psychological_Well-being